If I were to ask you to stay, I would embarrass myself. I want to, I always want to, but it means that I need you, that I need something, and I want to be something that needs nothing. I want to be solid, unflappable, impermeable, able to withstand all forms of loss with a stoic grace because that is the ideal. But I can’t. I want to beg and sob and pound my fists and refuse and make sounds like an animal. But I can’t do that either. I know about the inevitability of transience. I want to honor it quietly, with effort, while I shake on the inside with everyone else.
I am interested in revealing the transparency of language and indulging in emotional fantasies, as well as addressing the post-modern depressed subject as a new cultural paradigm. The materials are used to mask an inherently embarrassing or heavy-handed statement, making it more presentable, decorative, and benign.
- Molly Roth